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Monday, December 13, 2010

Hello Readers,

The I Remember Geneva book is almost finished. I might add another chapter in the near future.
But in the meantime, even though it has nothing to do with Geneva, I thought I might add a very short story that I recently wrote.
Since the weatherman says the temperature should drop below zero tonight, I thought it would be fun to read this story. It's titled Sunny, Hot and Humid.
As always, your comments are most welcome, kind, instructive even nasty.

Thanks for reading!

John

Sunny, Hot and Humid

“Oomph!” Jack uttered a gasp of pain as Doctor Schramer inserted the anoscope.

“Looks like you have several internal hemorrhoids here, Mr. Neeson. I see a large, juicy one here,” he said, peering through the scope

“Thought so!” grunted Jack.

“A simple banding procedure is what’s needed. I can perform the procedure now, if you wish.”

“Sure, doc, let’s do it now.”

Schramer quietly spoke to his assistant. She nodded and left.

Just then Jack’s blackberry buzzed, an incoming call.

“Neeson here, what is it?” Jack perched his elbow.

“What that? Another one? Where? Who was it? Related? How? Oh, I see! Okay, call me when you know more.”
Jack cut the call short; the doctor’s assistant was wheeling in a flat tray containing various surgical tools. He noted the syringe and shuddered; its needle was longer than any he had seen.

Dr Schramer appeared. ‘Let’s go Maria,” he barked. “Mr. Neeson, you’ll feel a slight prick as I deaden the first candidate.”

Candidate? Ouch!” Schramer had inserted the needle.

“Jesus Doc, that was no prick!” complained Jack.

The cell flickered and came to life.

“Neeson here,” it was Greene, Jack’s partner. What’s that? They found it where? Ouch!” The doctor was slipping the band over the first candidate.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just a little procedure I’m having done. Hurts like hell though!” Jack glared at the doctor, Maria smiled.

“Greene, can you take my calls until I’m finished here? What’s that? I’ll let you know dammit!”

“You know Mr. Neeson, you should conduct your police business after I’m finished,” admonished Schramer.

“Sure, Doc. I’ve just told my partner to take my calls. You know, it’s the strangest case,” Jack shook his head.

“Really? How?” asked Schramer.

“A few weeks ago, a body was found near the Field Museum.”

“What happened?”

“We’re not sure. But the strange part was, the body was found half way up a tree.”

“What, just laying on a branch?’

“No, it was as if it was hugging the tree trunk. The person who called it in was walking their dog. Birds were squawking. She looked up and saw it. She said she called to it. No answer. So she called the police. They brought in the fire department. That’s when they figured out the subject was dead. The fireman said its teeth and fingernails were dug into the tree – embedded really - like a death grip almost. Had to break the corpse’s jaw to remove it. The coroner was pissed.”

“How strange!” Schramer had finished the procedure.

“Take the instruments Maria. Mr. Neeson, Jack, you’ll want to eat soft foods and watch for bleeding and infection. See me in a week’s time for follow-up and a second banding, if necessary.”

“Oh, sure.” A second trip for this, not good, thought Jack.

“You said something about a second body.”

“Yeah, its strange. I wouldn’t even have thought they were related but for the same manner, or death grip, that the second body was found and who it was.”

“Really!” What do you mean? Who were they”

“The second one was found in Lincoln Park, in the branches of a Dogwood bush. Hands clenched to the largest branches, fingernails dug into the wood, teeth anchored into a branch. They had to cut the branches, couldn’t release its grip.”

“Interesting. But you said something about who the body was. A friend of the first deceased?’

“No, he was the assistant coroner. He did the autopsy on the first body three days ago.” Jack stood up and hitched his pants.

“Okay Doc, see you in a week,” Jack gingerly made his way to his car. As he stepped out into the late afternoon sun, the heat and humidity hit him like a wall. Whew, another hot muggy day, he thought starting the old Chevy. Thank god for AC!

The week passed. Two more bodies were found. The first was the fireman, in a city park, two miles from the station. He was clinging to a tree, his nails dug into the wood, his teeth embedded into its trunk.

The dog walker was found later that day, near the same spot as the first body, high up in a tree, her nails dug into its woody trunk, her teeth were splintered from the force of her bite into the tree’s trunk. In her apartment, her dog was dead, its teeth in a death grip on the wood frame of a kitchen cabinet.

Jack returned for his follow-up with Schramer.

“Looks good Jack. Continue a regimen of fiber and good eating habits,” instructed the doctor.

Relieved, Jack looked up, “will do Doc.”

“There was something else I wanted to mention, Jack,” continued Schramer.

“What’s that Doc?”

“The case you were working on last week. Those two bodies.”

“Yeah. There have been two more similar deaths. The feds are getting involved, you know the CDC. They think maybe it’s some type of flubug or something,” Jack shrugged his shoulders. “Some of us who worked on the case had to have blood tests. Haven’t found anything though.

But, I’ll tell you something Doc, there was something funny about those reports.”

“What do you mean?”

“The first body they found. In the tree? She worked at the Field Museum. Her co-workers said she had been acting strangely, babbling almost. They sent her home. Lives over on the North Side. Seems she got up in the middle of the night and walked back to the museum.

And then the assistant coroner.”

“The second body?”

“Yeah, he was acting funny. He went home after his shift. But then he walked all the way over to Lincoln Park. Someone saw him. They said they thought he was on a drunken tear.”

Jack thought for a minute, “what were you gonna tell me Doc?”

“Last week, coincidentally the same day you were here, I had dinner with an old friend, Evelyn Price. She’s an entomologist, you know insect study. She’s doing some research, writing a paper on ants”

“That’s interesting, but what has that got to do with anything?”

“Over dinner, I told her about your case.

Evelyn was interested. She said that while studying Thai carpenter ants she came across a very odd disease they carried. It was similar to your victims.

The odd look on Jack’s face stopped the doctor.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh nothing. Go on,” urged Jack.

“Evelyn explained that she had found that there was a parasite, a fungus. It manipulates the infected ants into dying where the fungus prefers to be.

The fungus turns the Thai carpenter ants into zombies, walking dead if you will. It somehow gets them to die in a spot that's perfect for it to grow and reproduce.

Somehow it takes control of the ant’s brain.”

“Go on,” Jack was intrigued.

Dr Schramer continued, “The nest of the carpenter ants is high in the canopy of the Thai forest. To forage, they leave their nest and travel to the forest floor. Apparently this fungus needs to live on the undersides of leaves that sprout only on plants that grow on the forest floor.

Evelyn believes this is where the temperature; humidity and sunlight are perfect for growth and reproduction. The added benefit is that it can infect more ants as they search for food.

Here is the most interesting part. It made me think of your case:

When the fungus infects it, the ant becomes compelled to climb down from the canopy to the low leaves, where it clamps down with its mandibles just before it dies.’

Evelyn says, ‘it as if the fungus manipulates the infected ants into dying where it (the fungus) prefers to live, by making the ants travel to the optimal growth area.”

“After the ant dies, the fungus continues to grow inside of it.

Evelyn has dissected many of the infected ants. She and her colleagues found that the fungus converts the ant's insides into sugars that help it continue to grow. But it leaves the muscles controlling the mandibles intact to make sure the ant keeps its death grip on the leaf.

At the same time it also preserves the ant's outer shell, growing into cracks and crevices to reinforce weak spots, fashioning a protective coating that keeps microbes and other fungi out.

After a few days, spores from the fungus fall to the forest floor. Then other ants become infected.

Evelyn believes it’s the heat and humidity of the Thai forest that allows the fungus to grow and perpetuate. She sees no present way to stop its growth other than dryness and cold.

Doesn’t it sound very similar to your case? Of course, there are many differences, I suppose.” Schramer smiled and looked at Jack.

Jack Neeson’s face had gone deathly white.

‘What is it?” asked Schramer.

“Doc, the first body was the researcher working at the Field Museum.”

“Yes?”

“She was dissecting Thai carpenter ants. Seems they had found them stuck to strange places where they are not usually found.”

The doctor held his finger to his chin in pensive thought.

“What is it doc?”

“Evelyn said she was doing her research with a group at the Field Museum. I wonder if she knew the first victim?
You don’t think?”

“Gotta go Doc!’

Jack hurried to the old Chevy. As the engine spun to life, the radio came on.

“Looks like no letup in sight said the weatherman. Sunny hot and humid.”

Just then Jack’s cell came to life. It was Greene.

“Jack, we found three more.”

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hello Readers,

It's mid July, hot and steamy with plenty to do outside, keeping up with the weeds in the garden and our crop of cucumbers. The grass has slowed somewhat, though it still needs to be cut every week.
I've been working on two different chapters; one about an old school recess and gym game called Kick Soccer Baseball, the other chapter is about a Christmas pageant. With the weather like it is, I sometimes like to just sit outside and soak up the heat. But it is a hindrance in writing.
My Theater of Terrors chapter is done (I think). Of course, every one of these tales will need to be edited for errors and such. Theater of Terrors is no different. But, I thought it would be fun to add part of it to this blog.

Comments, good or otherwise are welcome and wanted.

Thanks again for reading!

John


Theater of Terrors



“Hey John! John!” yelled Scotty as he jumped off of his red Schwinn. “Guess what my dad’s gonna let me do?”
Scotty was my best friend. We had been pals since the year before, when I moved to Geneva. Even though we were the same age, he was entering the fourth grade while I was going into fifth grade. Something about an eye problem in one of the earlier grades had kept him from being a classmate with the rest of the kids our age.

That summer before, in 1961, my family (seven kids: two boys and five girls) had moved to Geneva and settled into the house on North Sixth Street. Our dad was of Danish descent while Mom was from Italian and French -Swiss parentage. Their resulting brood of children was a blend; either pale haired, light skinned or dark headed, olive toned children. We were an example of the mixed cultural heritage of Geneva; Scandinavians and Italians with the French- Swiss thrown in for good measure.

Scotty’s sister, Lorie, who was two years older had quickly become friends with my older sister Jessie. They cackled on and on like two old hens every day.
“I think Frankie Valli is cute!” offered Lorie. “So do I!” Jessie would say.
“And guess what? Jean and Joyce showed me how to do the Twist!”

Jean and Joyce were two of my older sisters. Judi, the oldest sister was no longer in school. But both Jean and Joyce were students at Geneva High School, while Jessie would be attending Coultrap Junior High in the fall.

To show Lorie her version of the Twist, they fired up Jessie’s old RCA record player and listened to Chubby Checker singing the Twist. That was one of the records in the collection of popular 45s that her or one of my older sisters had bought.
A loud shuffling and squirming would commence as they danced the Twist to the song screeching from the turntable.

My little brother, Jeff and I would spy on them in wide-eyed wonderment as they furiously attempted to imitate the dancers they saw on American Bandstand. That was the television show they watched with my other sisters.
Out of the corner of her eye, Jessie would see us, grinning and snickering. Then shriek and scream “Mom! Make John and Jeff play somewhere else.”

We only did this because it seemed such a natural thing to do, irritate girls, that is, especially sisters.

Scotty’s sister quickly solved this harassment problem one afternoon, by dragging a loudly protesting, red-haired, bespectacled young boy with her to our house.
“Scott, this is John. John, this is my brother Scott. Now go play!” she ordered.

We looked at each other solemnly and nodded, like two old war vets or maybe just two woodchucks passing on our way to our dens.
But then, we started talking about guy stuff, stuff that girls didn’t care about, we thought.
“Who’s your favorite baseball player?” asked Scott.
“Luis Aparacio, of course,” I said, waiting for Scott to disagree. A Cubs fan, I bet. I thought to myself. He’ll say Ernie Banks.

“Yeah, he’s mine too. “Cause he’s with the White Sox,” explained Scott.
I nodded in agreement. Huh! This guy likes the White Sox! Even my dad was a Cubs guy.

Do ya like the Three Stooges?” I asked. The Three Stooges were on the television at 3:30 every afternoon on channel 9. To the dismay of our parents, it had become not to be missed entertainment, filling our impressionable heads with their silly gags and verbal comebacks.
“Yeah, especially Curley,” replied Scott.

In agreement again! Curley was the best Stooge, the underdog, always getting picked on by Moe and Larry, the other two Stooges.
“Dontcha hate it when they have Shemp on instead, or even one of those old Andy Clyde shows?” I commented.
“Yeah, that Shemp is goofy so is Andy Clyde.”

“Hey, wanna go out to my backyard. There’s a good old Mulberry tree that we could climb up and eat its berries,” I suggested.
“Okay!”
The Mulberry tree in question was a very large berry filled tree that had grown to maturity in the lilac hedge that separated our yard from the neighbor’s. At some point in its life, lightening had struck it, causing the tree to split and fall and then settle horizontally, about twenty feet above the ground and over the lilacs. It was loaded with the stain producing mulberries.

Sometimes, we would pick them in the morning for added sustenance on our breakfast, cereal or sometimes toast. Besides that, it was a perfect spot to sit and observe neighborhood life while indulging in the sweet treats.

We raced down the stairs and out to the tree, Scott yelling at the same time. “My real name is Scotty. Only my teachers and Lorie call me Scott. Sometimes my mom and dad too. I’m gonna be in the Third grade at Fourth Street this year. I shoulda been in Fourth but I got glasses and they said I needed to repeat ‘cause I couldn’t see everything.” Scotty breathlessly explained.

“Ya mean ya flunked Third grade?” I asked innocently as I clung to a branch while wiping off rotted mulberries from my dark brown hair. We were already a few yards up the woody plant.
Scotty’s face got red, “I got held back! I didn’t flunk! Don’t say flunk!” He was already above me staring down red-faced.

Hmm, evidently my poor choice of terminology regarding Scotty’s scholastic advancement or its lack thereof was a sore spot, I noted.

“Oh sure, sorry, holy cow!” I apologized quickly. I had picked up the term “Holy Cow” the winter before when visiting my cousin Harry, who lived in Evanston. Harry used it all the time.

“Well okay. What does Holy Cow mean?” asked Scotty, his face now back to a normal glow. “It’s not a swear word is it?”
“Nah. I think it’s the same as wow or gee whiz or even gosh,” I explained.

As we sat in the Mulberry tree, munching on ripe and semi-ripe berries, examining each one and commenting on their flavor like a pair of wine aficionados, two boys walked past, the smell of peanut butter emanating from their brown smeared faces and the large jar that they passed between them after copiously dipping their fingers.

“Who’s that?” I whispered.
“Earl and DJ,” whispered Scotty. “They live in the corner house. They’re pigs!”
Well that’s easy to tell, I thought. Their jeans were shiny and greasy and their tee shirts were grimy torn affairs.
“Are they your friends?” I asked.
Scotty shook his head, “nope, they go to St Pat’s, the Catholic school. I tried to be friends, but they would play tricks on me. So I beat them up.”

My eyes widened, “You beat them up?” I looked at Scotty in a different light. I guess he’s tougher than he seems, I thought.
“Yeah, I punched Earl in the belly once. He started crying. Then he ran home and told his Mom. I got in trouble.”

A violation of the kid code, I thought. You never told your parents about the fights you got in. Mostly because they were just a lot of wrestling and kicking, maybe even a punch or two. Nobody got hurt and usually you walked away still pals. Besides, tattling or telling your parents could be dangerous. More than likely you would get in trouble too. It wasn’t worth the bother.
“Gee whiz, just for a punch, they told?”
“Yeah, the little pigs. They even smell too,” he added wrinkling his nose as we watched Earl and DJ continue down the street, completely unaware of our discussion of their faults.

As that first summer went on, we hung out at the Geneva Pool, rode our bikes throughout the neighborhood. We played catch or baseball with Willie and Jerry, two brothers, close to our age living in the big house at the other end of Sixth Street.

We were inseparable pals, a comparison in contrasts of the kids in our small town of Geneva. Scotty, with his carrot colored red hair and pale skin was a direct opposite to my olive complexion and dark brown mop.

We played together through the fall, winter and spring and a second summer.
And now, here it was late August, a week before the new school year would start.

Our new school clothes were bought, tucked away in drawers and closets waiting, in anticipation of our first wearing. Whenever we peered into those drawers, it was a reminder of summer ending and the inevitable start of the new school year.

Our parents had warned us that these were “school clothes”, not to be played in. As if any of us would want to wear any of the scratchy new long sleeved shirts and long pants. Even the regular school shoes were too confining. It was our Keds or barefoot for us.

However, I noted that as Scotty rode up, he was wearing his new Keds, low tops, a style I had not seen before. They were his shoes for days when we had gym class, they were school shoes.

“Hi Scotty, how come you’re wearing your school clothes?” I asked pointing to his feet.
“Mom says I can wear them so long as I don’t get them dirty,” he replied hurriedly. “But guess what? My dad says I can run the lawn mower now that I’m in fourth grade!”

Scotty’s parents had a motorized, rotary lawnmower, while I was still pushing the reel type push mower at my house. It had no motor; it relied on human power.
I was envious. A motorized lawnmower! My dad explained to me that it was “good for me” to push the heavy lawnmower we had. Sure it was. If he had to push it around every week, I bet he would buy a mower with an engine, I thought.

“Man, that’s cool!” I gushed, mimicking one of my sister’s phrases. “When do ya get to use it?” I wanted to witness this latest phase in transition from little kid hood to older kid hood.

Little did I know that it would be the beginning of a lifetime of hours spent behind the swirling blade of that suburban nemesis, the power lawnmower.

“Saturday morning!” Was Scotty’s reply. “My dad says I can cut the grass in our front yard first. The backyard is full of rocks and Deuce.” Deuce was Scotty’s dog, a lop-eared Doberman Pinscher, unheeding of commands from kids.

“That’s tomorrow! I’ll come over right after I have breakfast,” I announced.

“Okay. You know what else? The show is gonna have a special matinee. Saturday. It’s supposed to be two monster movies and something else. Maybe we could go there after I cut the grass.”
The “show” was the Geneva Theater. During the summer, they often had Saturday matinees. They were double feature showings of various old movies and a cartoon or two. It was typically a rowdy afternoon of candy, popcorn and pop plus some movie watching if we were lucky. The movies were secondary to the gluttony of food and drink and the occasional harassment of girls that took place. It was great fun for twenty-five cents. Our parents never seemed to object. Probably it was a good chance for them to have some kid free time.

Saturday came. I told my mom that I was going over to watch Scotty cut his lawn. Then we were going to the show for the matinee. Would that be okay?
“Yes, but first, you will have to take out the Saturday trash. And when will you be cutting our grass?” She said pointedly.
“Aw gee whiz mom!” I whined. “Can’t I do it Sunday? Or when I get back?” I begged.
“Well, I know you won’t want to do it when you come home from the theater. You kids always stop off at Ron’s Pet Shop and dawdle there.”

That was true. Ron’s was next door to the show. It was a small pet shop selling tropical fish, goldfish and a varied assortment of small lizards and rodents.
It was a popular stopping off place after the movies got out. Sometimes, if we had any left over money, we might buy a goldfish to take home and keep in a large peanut butter jar or even a fish bowl, if we had one. Most of the time, though it was like visiting a small zoo. The smaller kids would press their noses up to the various glass-encased aquariums of fish and lizards or stick their fingers into the small cages of hamsters and other rodents. Ron, the ever patient proprietor, would quietly ask us to behave ourselves, noses off the glass and fingers out of the cages.

“What kind of movies are they having?” Asked my mom.
“Scotty says its monster movies and something else,” I informed her.
“Monster movies? Well then you’re not bringing Jeff or Joanne. I don’t want them coming home crying.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. Whenever I took my little brother or sister, there was a good chance that some alleged infraction on my part would be innocently reported. Joanne (JoJo for short) was afraid of wolves, due to the various reports that my sister Jessie and I had given her (they were lurking on the outskirts of town, we told her, awaiting any little girl who ventured away from her home). Jeff, on the other hand was young enough to believe anything told him. This was our way of keeping the younger ones in line, I suppose.

One time in particular, we came home with Jeff scared and crying. I had started off telling Joanne about wolves. But her tomboy bravado kept her from showing any outward fear. Besides, she had stayed on the straight and narrow path, and in town.

But Jeff looked worried, his eyes darting about. We both noticed it and seized the opportunity to tell him about giant apes and gorillas lurking in the bushes of the house on the corner of Fourth and Hamilton Streets, just a half block away from the movie house. The movie we saw that day had been Konga, a film about a demented scientist and a chimpanzee (the title animal) that the scientist raised to an enormous size. The havoc caused by the oversized ape scared the wits out of poor little Jeff.

Jeff had duly reported the story of large apes during dinner. I was immediately chastised by both my mom and dad. Although I did notice my dad stifling a snort or two.

Nope, this time it would just be Scotty and myself. We would have a great time!
So, that Saturday morning, I filled up on a large bowl of Wheaties (Breakfast of Champions) and then headed straight over to Scotty’s to see the big event.

Sure enough, there he was, pushing the familiar yellow Hahn Eclipse mower up and down the parkway in front of his house, his dad watching, hands on his hips.
“Hi John,” Scotty’s dad had a deep booming voice. “Scotty’s doing a good job here. He’ll be done in no time.”

“Hi!” I replied. I never knew what to call a parent of a friend. Was it Mister and the last name or did I refer to him by their first name? My mom and dad said to say mister or misses, not their first names. But sometimes, the parent would want to be called by their first name. I found it easier to just say “Hi” and leave off the rest of the salutation.

“So you two are going down to the Geneva show for the afternoon monster matinee?” commented Scotty’s dad. “Just stay out of trouble,” he said gravely, winking his eye. Scotty’s dad was a policeman on the Geneva’s police force.

“Oh, yessir,” I exclaimed.

“My shift starts in a little while. Do you think I can trust you two pirates to finish this job without me?”

The “pirates” remark referred to last year’s Halloween when Scotty and I were dressed as pirates. That year, Scotty wore an eye patch as part of his doctor’s recommendation to strengthen his eye. Being pirates seemed the natural disguise. We were pirates for the days preceding Halloween and the following week.

Scotty stopped and turned off the mower, “Hi John, pretty neat, huh? This lawn mowing is a cinch. Look how straight my lines are.”

It was true, Scotty’s lawn cutting looked like he had been doing it for years. I told him so; “Looks great! Hurry up and get done so we can get a good seat!” I urged him.

Just then Scotty’s dad backed their old pickup truck down the driveway. He stopped and rolled down his window and shouted, “Scotty, be careful with that mower! Especially when you start it! Be sure you put it away when you’re done. Make sure your mother knows when you leave for the movies!”

“Okay!”

There was only a small patch under their Maple tree left to cut. “I’ll be done in no time,” said Scotty as he placed his foot on the mower and pulled the starter cord. And then it happened, quicker than I could see.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Hello Readers,

Well, here it is, the end of April. I've been working on a chapter titled Theater of Terrors.

A trip to Door County is what I need, I think. Therefore, it's off to The County for half a week. We're even taking the Citroen for fun!

Though, I won't be at The House, I think my concentration will return. No thinking about the tangible realities of home, I suppose.

I hope that's it!

That being said, I'm adding a partial chapter titled Help Me Tom. I wrote it in March while working on my March Madness chapter (tentative title ).

Help Me Tom is a dinosaur of a chapter, going on for at least 20 pages or more. Yikes!

So, here it is. Hope you enjoy it.

Cheers,

John

Help Me Tom

Winter as every winter does, gradually eased, the days grew longer and warmer. My paper route became an easier job; no more heavy coat to wear, no more frozen and numb fingers and toes. I was able to find more time after delivering papers to hang out with my neighborhood buddies before it became dark.
Even though it was still late March, all of us began looking forward to the summer days of baseball and swimming at the pool.
Meanwhile, at Fourth Street School, both fifth grade classes were given the assignment to read one of the works of a famous American author. Afterwards, a written account of that same book would be required.
Most of us assumed that this was the teacher’s way of determining who actually read the required book versus those who read the jacket synopsis. That little trick was given to some of us by the older, more knowledgeable sixth grade boys.
Even worse, our teacher, Mr. Ellmaker told us we would be giving a short presentation to the class as part of the book report.
Huh? We looked at each other.
“What’s a presentation?” asked Gary to no one in particular. He was a blonde haired boy who sat across the aisle from me.
“I think it’s like an award or something,” I said, thinking back to the time in November when I received a transistor radio at the newspaperboy’s party. One of the adults there termed the awards as a “presentation”.
“It’s nothing like that at all!” snapped Cathy, a sixth grader.
Some of our classmates snickered.
Our class, with Mr. Ellmaker as the teacher, was a split class of fifth graders and sixth graders. Apparently, it was some adult’s thinking that since there were not enough fifth and sixth graders at Fourth Street School to make a second class of each, money could be saved by combining the two grades.
We (the fifth graders) would be taught our lessons while the sixth grade half would remain quiet studying. And vice versa; when the sixth graders were being instructed, we were to remain quiet and study.
That didn’t happen, of course. Being naturally curious and unruly kids, we interrupted the sixth grade instructions with questions or comments. The sixth graders did the same. Sometimes it was chaos.
As the school year progressed, even Mr. Ellmaker realized that this sort of teaching was fruitless; he began to involve all the students in most of his lessons. Many of which morphed into his typical World War Two war stories. But, as a consequence, some of us probably learned more and were better prepared for the sixth grade.
But a presentation?
“Well then what is it?” asked Tito, one of my fifth grade classmates.
His real name was Keith, but ever since the fourth grade, we had been calling him Tito. I think we had become enamored with the name, the previous year in fourth grade. We were discussing the country of Yugoslavia and its charismatic leader, Marshall Tito. Keith somehow became the recipient of our name beknightment.
“You have to get up in front of the class and read your book report,” explained Cathy. “We had to do the same thing last year. It was fun!”
Sure, fun maybe for her. She was smart and sure of herself. Girls always seemed to have that superior edge. We boys on the other hand excelled at causing commotion in class, all of it non-educational.
“Ohh.” Some of us groaned audibly.
Others heard her. The class was abuzz with whispering.
Undoubtedly, most of us were remembering back to the Puking Randy incident. We still talked about it whenever there was a hint of illness. It ranked right up there with Dennis and the Milk Races episode.
The Puking Randy event occurred when the sixth graders were giving their speeches on health and safety during the week before Christmas. One of the girls, Marilyn, had done her report to the class.
Usually, during these little speeches or presentations as Mr. Ellmaker apparently liked to term them, scant attention was paid, and especially with Christmas nearing, even less attention was a guarantee. Gazing out the window at the snow or dreaming about presents under the tree was a more important, relevant subject matter.
However, the theme of Marilyn’s was First Aid.
At first some of us began to drift away. But then Marilyn brought out her mom’s First Aid Kit. She took out bandages, an iodine bottle, and then splint making supplies.
Next, she started explaining what to do when one receives a laceration.
Laceration? What’s that? I asked myself.
As if reading my mind, Marilyn explained.
“A laceration is a really bad cut. You can bleed a lot. You can get one from a big knife or scissors cut or maybe in a car accident and you gash your head wide open.”
She went on graphically, “My little brother Jimmy once fell off his bike and cracked his head wide open. He bled all over the street and had to have stitches.”
This was good, interesting stuff!
“One time my dad stuck his finger in our lawnmower while it was running and cut off the top of his finger!” volunteered Dennis, a fifth grader.
He demonstrated what his Dad’s wounded appendage looked like afterwards, crooking his pinkie finger, “and there was blood everywhere! Even the grass was red!”
Some of us knew that Dennis was prone to exaggeration.
But maybe not this time!
Now the class was stirring!
Various accounts were given, most in grisly, bloody graphic detail. Bloody toes from stepping on broken glass, skinned knees from roller skating, bloody falls from bicycles, minor injuries all, but for one common denominator, blood and bloody cuts.
Pete even brought up his dad’s scar from a surgical procedure. “It must have bled a lot!” He assured all of us, even if he didn’t really see the procedure.
I even told the story of dropping a glass of milk, spilling the milk while the glass broke. “My dog Sam started licking up the milk and cut his tongue and mouth on the broken glass. Then he started to bleed and it mixed in with the white milk! It was gross!” I told the class.
I think even Mr. Ellmaker was going to add a story or two from the War until Randy raised his hand.
Randy was a thin pale fifth grader bussed over from the east side of Geneva.
“Yes Randy?” asked Mr. Ellmaker.
“I don’t feel so good,” he lamented.
Gosh, Randy looks greenish white, I observed.
Apparently, all the talk of blood and gore had made Randy sick to his stomach.
Suddenly, Randy turned and threw up on his desk, then slid like vanilla pudding down his chair.
“Geez!” yelled Ronnie. “That stinks!”
He was right, it did stink! It smelled like rotten milk from one of those leftover milk cartons that someone left in the cloakroom!
Some of the girls started to cough and gag, almost as if in sympathetic vomiting.
We stared at Randy, our mouths agape. We had seen puking before, but never someone fainting.
Wow!
“Mr. Ellmaker bounded over to Randy in what seemed to be two steps. Grabbing the sick boy, he laid him on the floor and on his side. Randy’s eyes fluttered open.
“Don’t worry boy, you’re okay.
John, Gary, Tito open some windows. Pete, go to Mrs. Erickson’s class and ask her to get the janitor. Cathy, get me some wet paper towels. The rest of the class, I want you to go into the hallway and wait for me. And be quiet.” His orders were swift and decisive.
Mr. Ellmaker put a wet paper towel on Randy’s head and another around his neck. He seemed better almost immediately.
Poor Randy! After the incident, he became better known throughout school as Puking Randy. The first and second graders shied away from him. The fourth graders talked about him behind his back. Some of the fifth and sixth grade boys would make vomiting sounds or gagging motions when he walked past.
Bruce, one of the sixth grade boys, chewed up two overly ripe bananas and spit them out in a pile in the snow next to the school entrance. It was called Mount Randy or Banana Randy Puke. At least until it melted.
Needless to say, none of us wanted to have what happened to Randy, happen to us. Oh, the embarrassment! It was one of those events that were burned into our young, demented, formative memories.
Of course we didn’t put two and two together; Marilyn gave the speech, she didn’t become ill. Randy became sick to his stomach from the talk of blood, not from being in front of the class. But it didn’t matter, we did not want to give a speech and throw up either giving it or listening to it.
Mr. Ellmaker explained the basics of the presentation:
We would have our choice of different books by American authors to choose from. He would post the list of books by the authors on the bulletin board next to his desk. By the end of the day, we were to tell him what book we chose. Near the end of the month, the book reports would be due. That’s when we would give our presentations. We would be graded on our reports and how well we did our speeches.
I looked around the class. From looks of anticipation on some to the outright horror of Dennis, our faces exhibited an assortment of juvenile emotions.
Amid the groans and whining, I sighed to myself. Just when it was getting warm out, he gives us this! And I gotta get up in front of class? I knew that some of my classmates would find great joy in embarrassing me. Maybe even making vomiting faces.
Walking home for lunch, I told one of my buddies, Jerry about the assignment.
“Yeah, we got the same thing, we gotta read a book and then write a report. It hasta be done and turned in at the end of the month. It should be easy!’ Jerry snapped his fingers as he added, “readin’ a book is nuthin.”
“Sure reading a book is easy. It’s the speech you gotta give afterwards,” I lamented. “That’s the big deal.”
“Speech? We don’t hafta give a speech,” said Jerry. “Mrs. McElroy said only old Ellmaker’s class is gonna do that.”
Jerry was in Mrs. McElroy’s class, the lucky! “Ya think someone might puke?” he asked hopefully.
I gave him a dark look. “Sonofbitch!” I swore quietly. Quietly, because we were getting close to home. I didn’t want my mom to hear me. Or anyone else who might tattle.
I moaned to my mom as she set out a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of me, “we gotta read a book, write a report on it and then talk about it in fronta class. Jerry’s class doesn’t hafta give a speech, only old man Ellmaker’s class!”
“John, you read all the time. The only difference this time is that you will need to read something that is required and then write a short explanation of what the book was about. It’s the same as when you tell me about the books you read. Except this time, you have to put what you say on paper.”
My mom was being too logical!
“But ma, I gotta give a speech. In fronta class. That’s different! What if I puke!”
“It’s no different than talking to your friends. That’s what you should pretend you’re doing. Talking about the book to your friends. You do that all the time. And you won’t vomit doing it,” she said calmly.
“Yeah, well, yeah, I guess so,” I grumbled.
Obviously, I wasn’t going to get any sympathy from my mom. She was probably in league with old man Ellmaker, I thought. I bet he told her all about it during those parent – teacher conferences they had. Sonofabitch!
“What did you say? Did you just say a bad word?”
Yikes, I had grumbled the word under my breath! Maybe she heard!
“Uh nuthin, just sumthin itches,” I scratched my shoulder blade furiously.
“It better have been that! I don’t want you using any swear words or you’ll end up like your Uncle Paul!”
My Uncle Paul was my dad’s brother. As children, we knew him as the uncle with the hook that replaced his amputated hand and his frequent use of swear words in his daily conversation. I didn’t know how he got the hook. Did my mom mean that somehow Uncle Paul got it as a result of using swear words?
I pondered that as I quietly ate my sandwich and watched Bozo’s Circus.
I looked at the clock, it was 12:30, I headed back to school.
Arriving, I noticed a large group of classmates clustered around the bulletin board when I returned to class for the afternoon session. On it was a list:

APPROVED BOOKS FOR FIFTH GRADE BOOK REPORT PROJECT

Just as Mr. Ellmaker had promised, he had placed a list of book titles to choose from for our book reports.
I quickly scanned the list. Darn! I didn’t see any book titles that I might have read previously.
No Hardy Boys. No Tom Corbett, Space Cadet!
Instead there were book titles such as Black Beauty, Johnny Tremain, and other unrecognizable names.
Gee, where are all the books I saw at the library or Robin’s Book Shop? Robin’s Book Shop was on South Third Street. I often stopped in there to purchase a Hardy Boys Mystery book.
Where were the Govan and West adventure books that the public library had?
Sonofabitch!
No, these books were all of the classics.
“John, John!” It was Brenda a sixth grade girl in my class. She was very smart and helped out in our school’s small library. We were friends, I supposed, because we shared a common bond; books and book reading.
“Tell Mr. Ellmaker, you’re going to read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer! You’ll like it, I promise.”
Near the bottom of the list, was the book Brenda mentioned. I looked over at her; she smiled and nodded her head.
I took a deep breath and went up to Mr. Ellmaker. “I’m going to read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mr. Ellmaker.”
“Okay, John. There are only three of those books available. You got the last one. Remember, the written report is due the last week of April, just after Easter. You will need to give your presentation some time during that week.”
Then he added, looking at the calendar, “Since you’re last name begins with an N, it will probably be Wednesday, the 24th. Later this week, I’ll put the list up of the books chosen and the day when each of you will be doing your presentation.”
April 24th, I gulped, Doomsday!
I went over to the small stack of approved books and searched for Tom Sawyer. There it was, a book with a picture of a barefoot boy wearing a hat and old-fashioned clothes; The Adventures of Tom Sawyer read the title.
Hmm, the pictures on the front don’t look too bad, I thought. I grabbed the book and went to my desk, flipping through the pages as I walked.
Still, I had my doubts. Boy, Brenda better be right! I thought.
And so a few weeks passed. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer was fascinating; so fascinating that I hurried home every day after doing my paper route to read it; I even stayed up past bedtime, reading the tome under the covers with a flashlight.
No, the title of this book did not lie; Tom really did have all sorts of adventures.
He snuck out late at night, smoked corncob pipes, got in trouble at school, he even ran away from home with his best friends.
They made a raft and went sailing on the river. He even explored and got trapped in a cave. All were great tales of fun and excitement. I read the book so quickly that I finished it before the Easter holiday. This kid Tom was a brave lad!
I imagined myself exploring caves, fishing and rafting on the Fox River. It was wishful thinking I supposed. I had a fishing pole but no raft. Besides, where was a cave nearby?
I recited the best parts of the book to my pal Scotty. I told him about the raft and how Tom, Joe Harper and Huckleberry Finn had built it with logs and flat pieces of wood. How they ran away from home and sailed on the river. How they camped out and caught fish; even cooking them!
Scotty’s eyes lit up when he heard about how the raft was built.
His dad was building a new house next to their old home. He was well acquainted with building materials and tools.
“We could build a raft, John! There’s some logs in the field behind Earl and DJ’s place. I know where I can get a piece of plywood. I could ‘borrow” my dad’s hammer and saw,” he said excitedly.
“Yeah, but how are we gonna keep it together,” I replied, not quite fathoming Scotty’s idea or raft building in general.
“We can get the bent nails that are laying on the ground next to my old house. We can use them to hammer the board to the logs!” He was right. While attaching siding to join the old house to the new portion, Scotty’s dad and his friends had imbibed with a few drinks. Consequently, they had lost quite a few nails and had given themselves some sore fingers and thumbs in the process. We did learn, however, some new swear word phrases as a benefit of being helpers. Now we also knew where to get our nails. We layed out our plans for building our raft.
The next day was Good Friday. We did not have school. This was the day when we were supposed to attend church services at noon. Even many of the stores and shops in Geneva closed at noon to allow their employees to attend Good Friday church services. For whatever reason, Scotty and I learned that we were not going to be made to go to church. We had the entire day off!
In the meantime, Scotty and I had scrounged up an old coffee can full of bent and rusty nails. That was easy enough. Getting the plywood sheet would take a bit more maneuvering.
It was behind his dog, Deuce’s doghouse. Deuce was a large, mutant looking Doberman pinscher. The dog had strangely bent ears that made him appear to have horns like a devil. He barked manically and thought it great fun to crouch and jump on us or any other person who happened not to be an adult. There was no real biting involved, only a lot of nipping and scratching from his frothing mouth and long, untrimmed nails. As a matter of fact, Scotty had numerous scratches from his battles with Deuce in his attempts to “feed and water the pooch,” as his dad like to term it.
The doghouse was in a corner of Scotty’s back yard, but in clear view of his house, the kitchen in particular. We would have to distract Scotty’s mom while one of us his fought off Deuce, while dragging the plywood board out from behind the doghouse.
The plan was simple: Scotty would be in his back yard while I would go to his front door and knock, asking for him. His mom would come to the door. In the meantime Scotty would quickly run behind Deuce’s house before the hound knew what was happening, grab the plywood and heave it over the fence into his neighbor Ernie’s yard. He would then run up to the house and be ready for his mom’s call to him. Yes, we were masters of deception!
But for one thing, Scotty’s sister Lorie answered the door, not his Mom.
What to do! Scotty was depending on me.
“Uh, hi Lorie, is Scott here?” I asked nervously, the gears and wheels churning in my head. How to get his mother’s attention!
“Hi John, I think Scotty’s in back,” said Lorie. “I’ll get him.”
“No wait, could I have a glass of water?” I asked.
“I guess,” she sighed.
We went into the kitchen
Oh hi John,” said Scotty’s mom.
Deuce was barking furiously in the background.
“Why what’s the matter,” she peered at me strangely. I was trembling.

continued......

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hello Readers.

Today, My sister, Joanne Buckley is guest writer.
Joanne has written a tribute to that mainstay of Geneva retail, the Viking Office Supply and its proprietor, Weldon Johnson.
She is also sending this to the local newspapers as a Letter To The Editor.

As always, your comments are most welcome.

Cheers,

John

Weldon Johnson and The Viking Office Supply


Letter to the Editor:

My friend Weldon Johnson is closing Viking office supply, after 32 years in business.
It makes me sad.

It makes me sad that Geneva and the world has changed so much. I owned The Newsstand that shared the same location as Nelson’s Candy Store. Walter Nelson was an old man with a short fuse when a kid – me, tarried at the penny candy counter longer then he deemed appropriate. Many of my older customers remembered how Walter would walk out the front door of the store with a fellow and yell across the street to The State Bank of Geneva, “ Give ‘em a loan – he’s good for it”. Business doesn’t work that way any more. Cripes, I needed proper ID to get my library card renewed.

I digress.

Weldon Johnson bleeds Geneva blue. He is a good Geneva Boy. A former Alderman, Wood Award recipient, name giver of the Geneva River Rats, multiple year Chairperson of the barn sale, member of too many service groups to name, a dancer with the Geneva Stars and a great entertainer as he struts his stuff along the route in the annual Swedish Day parade with his horned Viking helmet and fur pelt. Will the Swedish Day parade be the same without him? He is one of the good guys. Which is why it is so sad to watch as he closes out this part of his life.

When I owned the Newsstand in Geneva and The Geneva Theatre closed, it hurt my business. When Geneva Family Restaurant closed at 3pm instead of 7pm, it hurt my business. I can’t help but compare our downtown to the game on my Blackberry, BrickBreaker. With each store that closes its door, the mortar chips away, and it gets easier for another store to be picked off. There is safety in numbers. I worry for the strong independent retailers that remain. I worry about our downtown and our community. They need our support.

Again, I digress.

Viking Office Supply was very good for Weldon and his family. He raised three children, sent them to college, had two weddings, and was able to take some nice trips while still investing his time to give back to his town and the people he loved. Do you remember when he put a treadmill in the window of his store and raised funds for miles walked? He was able to raise almost $20,000 for Russell, another Geneva boy with Leukemia. He is a selfless man.

However, business has changed. It is hard to scrape out a living, and let’s face it -The Swede is 70. It is time for him to relax, enjoy his grandchildren, and maybe go up nort’ fishin’.

But until March 31, he will be at Viking Office Supply as he has been for the last 32 years. Please stop by, shake his hand, say thank you – because he most likely has had something to do with something you enjoy about this town. And if you can, buy something, carry that Viking Office Supply bag proudly down the street one last time. He definitely earned our support.

Joanne Buckley

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hi Readers.

It has been quite a while between stories. There are more. But I have decided to keep some of them back. The aim is to put together 12 different stories on the same subject: the adventures of an 11 year old boy growing up in 1960's Geneva. The objective is to perhaps publish these in book form (if there is any interest). Therefore, your comments, both kind and critical are most welcome.
So today, I've added a new story. It's titled: He Was Nick Sometimes.

Cheers,

John
He Was Nick Sometimes


One of my less frequent school buddies was Stevie, a slightly built, blonde haired boy who lived a few blocks away on North Fifth Street. A “less frequent” pal was the one you might befriend at school, a birthday party or some other type of adult mandated get-together where both of you needed the mutual accompaniment of another person to allow for the quicker passage of the obligatory time period.
Yes, you were friends but not always the kind who would see you on weekends or after school on a regular basis. Over the years, some friends swam in and out of the little friendship pond like so many fish around a baited hook.
Stevie was one of them.
Being much closer to Fourth Street School, his house was a natural stopping off point at the end of the school day. His mom was nice to his friends, sometimes serving a snack along with a glass of milk. Those of us who stopped by and were not fans of milk, quickly learned how to request a short glass with various excuses: “No thanks, I’m pretty full from drinking water,” or “just a little, my mom doesn’t want me to ruin my appetite,” we might say.
“Ruin your appetite” was another one of those adult phrases that we all knew as kids to be just an excuse. It made them feel better that they were doing it for our own good.
But it really meant, “no, because you’re a little pig”.
The “ruined appetite” excuse always meant less cookies or one of the other various treats someone had made or could be given. That excuse was used when we couldn’t think of anything better.
Stevie’s dad seemed to be older than our dads.
(I remember thinking how astonished I must have appeared from the odd look Stevie gave me when he told me his dad was born in 1913 – a clear seven years earlier than my own dad).
“Wow! Your dad is really really old!” I informed him after doing the mental arithmetic.
But his mom was much younger, Stevie informed me. “Like at least twenty years younger!”
We looked at her in awe when she came out on their front porch to ask us if we wanted any milk with the cookies we were eating.
“Sure, I mean yes, please,” I said, my manners suddenly descending on me like a curtain upon a stage.
Apparently, I was calculating that by being courteous and accepting milk, there might be more treats in store for me.
Yes, I was a little pig!
“Do ya think she knows how old your dad is?” I whispered to Stevie.
“I don’t think so,” said Stevie. “Cause my dad winked when he told me, like it was a secret or something. I bet my sisters don’t even know.”
With a family of two, older red-haired sisters and a younger brother, Stevie was very adept at knowing how to maintain civility when dealing with girls and siblings.
Secrets, such as what Stevie described were difficult to keep, especially when one had older sisters.
I knew that; sometimes, it seemed I had half a dozen or more older sisters.
But a dad that told his son secrets? This was profound news to me!
Heck, my dad only told me stuff like tuck in your shirt or wipe your nose. Nothing that could be considered inside knowledge.
“Have ya told your mom?” I asked.
Stevie shook his head and held his finger to his lips, “Shh, my mom might hear us and maybe get mad”
Stevie and his family lived on North Fifth Street in what was termed a Dutch Colonial. It was a lengthy, ramshackle home with an enclosed front porch and a yard surrounded by a white picket fence.
It was interesting inside, very different than my old house on Sixth Street. In the rear of the house, past their dining room was a study, or den with bookcases that held various books and natural history publications.
His parents had inherited the house from Stevie’s Grandpa, who was apparently an outdoorsman type of fellow.
On some of the walls were various examples of Muskies, Northern Pike and other stuffed game fish of the North Woods. They were fish his Grandpa had caught on one of his many fishing expeditions, Stevie told me. I was dutifully impressed.
Their kitchen was an old-fashioned room with an ancient curtained sink that his little brother Chuckie sometimes hid beneath, behind the drapery enclosed lower portion.
Stevie had lived there long enough to be able to tell me how the big house on Fourth and Hamilton was moved to the vacant lot down the street to the corner of Fifth and Ford. I listened with rapt attention.
How come I wasn’t around to see that? I wondered.
Sitting in their enclosed porch even in the early November afternoon, it was still warm enough to be dressed without an overcoat. His mom had furnished it like it was another inside room of their house.
The piece of furniture we were sitting on was what his family called a davenport. I thought it was a couch – a lot I knew about home furnishings. I had never heard of a davenport.
Earlier in the day, while we were at school, Stevie had approached me and asked if I wanted to take over his paper route. He invited me over to his house after school to tell me more about the business of newspaper delivery.
“What do you havta do?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s easy, they (the News Depot) deliver the newspapers to your house every day after school. When you come home, you just roll them up like this”;
Stevie took a paper from the bundle and demonstrated the art of folding a newspaper for delivery.
“Lay it flat on the table, fold it once and then roll it up tightly. Then put it between your legs, hold it there and put a doubled up rubber band around it. You put them into this bag (a bright blue canvas bag that said Chicago Daily News on it – cool!), ride your bike and just deliver them to the houses on the route. I have a list of the addresses of the homes and the paper they get. They pay you at the end of the month.”
This was way too easy, I thought.
Stevie took me on a tour of his route, delivering newspapers to his various customers.
Starting at State Street, we rode up and down Richards Street and then the side streets, Union, Center, Eklund and the others, delivering papers, taking turns with the bag slung over our shoulders.
It seemed a bit heavy, I thought. But as we delivered the papers, trading carrying the sack, talking and yelling (at other kids we knew), the time went rapidly and the big bag became much lighter.
Heck, this is easy; I get to ride my bike, see other kids and then get paid?
We rode all the way to the St Charles border.
Wow! I had never ridden my bike this far, I thought.
And then, back down Anderson Boulevard, where we stopped at the old Geneva Piano Factory building that had a lower level Laundromat.
We knew better than to stop at the Little Store as we called it.
Even though it was a half block up the street on the corner of Anderson and Stevens, and sold candy and other goodies, we knew better.
The proprietors seemed crabby and short with kids our age.
The Laundromat, on the other hand was a busy place, with moms folding their newly washed and dried clothes while minding their preschool children who played and ran about.
Amid the din of machines and kids, the manager patiently chose to ignore a couple of boys stopping by.
Stevie bought me a hot chocolate and a candy bar straight out of the vending machines.
This was great!
“I’ll take your route,” I quickly informed Stevie, glancing around nervously. I was worried that some other boy might notice me learning the route and somehow be given this moneymaking opportunity.
When I informed my mom, she said, “Are you sure? It’s hard work, you know, especially in the winter.”
“Well duh, mom, I know that,” I said with obvious dollar signs flickering in my eyes.
Ah, but woe is to the boy who does not take all things into consideration and is ill prepared.
On my first day, my pal Scotty asked me, “Hey John, you wanna play Army?”
Geez. No, I couldn’t, I thought, it was my first day of doing the paper route.
I puffed out my chest, “I can’t, I have my paper route to do,” I informed him with the air of a braggart.
Scotty seemed envious, I told myself.
For the next two weeks, I dutifully came home and rolled up the Chicago American, Chicago Daily News, Elgin Courier and the Aurora Beacon News, stuffing them all into the now confounded newspaperboy’s canvas delivery bag.
Was it heavy? Oh surely you should know. On some days, Wednesdays, in particular, the papers were thinner than a Superman comic book; but on other days like Thursdays or Saturdays, they were as thick as a Chicago phone book.
The Chicago Daily News was especially thick on Saturdays with full-page funnies and advertisements.
There was no Sunday paper; it was their weekend edition. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to deliver the Sunday edition of the other papers; there were other paperboys who took on that sorry job.
In short, the bag weighed a million pounds it seemed.
I struggled to maintain balance as I rode my bike with the cursed thing upon my shoulder.
It reminded me of the story of Sinbad and The Old Man of the Sea from the 1001 Arabian Nights book I had checked out of the Geneva Public Library (and had never returned – I subsequently had to scrape up enough money to pay the cost of the book).
Out of kindness, Sinbad had given the Old Man a ride on his shoulders across a river only to find himself enslaved to the Old Man, destined to carry him forever.
I was like Sinbad, cursed with this huge, heavy canvas sack full of newspapers destined to carry it forever (or for at least an hour or so).
For weeks, I struggled with the thing; as it cut into my shoulder blades.
I cursed the thing under my breath as I delivered the newspapers,
“Jesus Christ, sonofabitch,” I grumbled.
I repeated all the swear words that I learned from my dad and Earl and DJ’s old man, while keeping a sharp eye for any grownups or a sibling waiting to tattle.
But then, late in the month, I received a notice that one of the newspapers, the Aurora Beacon News, was having a paperboy’s party at their office on State Street, three stores down from the BF Goodrich Tire and Auto Shop. The party would be the Monday evening before Thanksgiving.
Well, this was much better, I thought. A party for just the paperboys and it says prizes would be awarded?
Wow! So being a paperboy was becoming worthwhile!
I imagined being called up to the stage and being awarded some wonderful prize for the best delivery in Geneva; a new bike, maybe a hundred bucks!
Afterall, I was on time and even made sure the papers were delivered with waxed paper when it rained, most of the time, anyway.
Besides, after the first two weeks, they had quit sticking the pink complaint and tan missed paper tickets in my daily bundle of papers they delivered.
I was delivering the papers to the right customers – most of the time.
The day came. I rode my bike to the office.
“No riding on the sidewalk, kid!” shouted a red nosed man.
I had almost run over him as he was leaving the Blue Room Tavern.
The Blue Room Tavern was a local watering hole that my dad did not frequent.
His place was The Derby, further up the street, next to the State Bank. Lucky for me!
“Sorry mister!”
He was right; riding on sidewalks in downtown Geneva was prohibited. But gee, couldn’t he see I was on my way to pick up the award for best paperboy, for cripe’s sake?
Parking my bike in front of the office, I went in.
Wow! The commotion! The place was full of boys my age and older.
“Who are you?” asked a tall thin man.
“John Nielsen, Route 2B,” I informed him.
“Okay, you’re one of the Geneva paperboys? Or are you from St Charles?”
“Uh, Geneva”
“Well, you’re late by almost an hour.”
Huh? An hour? How’d that happen?
It was because I had watched a Three Stooges episode before doing my route.
Curley was a wrestler who couldn’t be beat whenever he heard the song, Three Blind Mice on the violin played by Larry.
Meanwhile, Moe was his trainer. It was a great stooges episode that couldn’t be missed. I was still whistling the tune.
“We’ve already had refreshments; but you might see if there’s anything left on the table.”
He pointed to a fold up table that was in the corner of the room. There were a lot of the boys clustered around it.
I elbowed my way to the table only to see a few sweet rolls with what looked like peaches or apricots in their center.
One of the boys said there had been cupcakes earlier, but were quickly eaten by the ravenous crowd. The sweet rolls were from the morning; the ones that no one wanted.
Near them were some half filled paper cups into which someone had poured Coca Cola.
I picked up a sweet roll and a cup.
Yuck! The coke was warm and flat; the roll was dry.
Oh well, at least I didn’t miss the prize awards.
Gazing around the room, I noticed Paul talking to Kevin. They were two paperboys I had run into off and on while delivering my papers.
Paul delivered papers on South First Street while Kevin had a route on South Third to Seventh Street. They went to the Catholic school and were well acquainted with Earl and DJ.
“Hi John,” said Kevin. He was short with red hair and freckles.
I had been by his house on the corner of South Fourth Street once in the summer when Scotty and I were exploring the old creek that ran behind the homes on South Street. Much like Earl and DJ, his house was full of kids - twelve Kevin told me – all red-haired ones who seemed to be hanging out from every window from the first floor to the third floor.
But they were different than Earl and DJ’s family, somehow.
His mom was a short blonde haired, frail looking woman who seemed to have the patience and temperament perfectly suited for such a large family. She seemed to take in stride the broken gallon jug of milk that Kevin’s sister Mary Margaret dropped and spilled when attempting to pour a glass of milk.
Just a sigh and then: “Mary Margaret, get the mop and bucket and clean up the milk. We won’t have cereal tomorrow.”
That was all! No swearing or accusations of idiocy. How different than Earl and DJ’s family.
Paul, on the other hand lived with his sister and mom in an apartment above the Geneva Republican printing press on North First Street.
It was next to the Open Pantry and I had run into Paul several times when stopping there for candy or other treats. Apparently, his parents were divorced – something that was not really talked about in those days.
He often talked, wistfully of his dad, saying how him and his dad would go down to the Fox River to fish – someday.
“Attention! Attention, we are now going to present prizes. Everyone please be seated,” announced the tall thin man.
Some of us stood while others sat in the little folding chairs.
Clearly, there weren’t enough chairs for everyone. It didn’t matter to me. I was certain to get some type of award I just knew it.
Accompanied by a short blonde woman, the tall thin man stood at the front of the room and announced, “We have put all of the names of the paperboys present into this fish bowl. Miss Pierce will draw a name and we’ll present a prize to that boy. As I watched each succeeding paperboy get called and receive a small package, I became more apprehensive.
What about me? Was I left out? Everyone seemed to be getting something, even Kevin and Paul!

“John Nielsen, Route 2B,” called out the tall thin man.

Finally!

I stepped up to the front, Miss Pierce handed me a small box. As I walked back, I looked at the lettering on the box.
Portable Transistor Radio.
Wow! I got a transistor radio! I could listen to it while I rode my bike or in bed. No more tube radio for me!
There really wasn’t anything wrong with tube radios. They were just big and clunky. My dad had even shown me how to repair the old radios that used tubes.
“Every tube in it has a place and a function in the radio,” he said. “If the tube doesn’t light up, you can take it out and test it at Wayne’s.”
Wayne’s was the drugstore on State Street. They had a soda fountain in front and a tube -testing machine near the back of the store.
Sometimes, when we had enough money we would stop in and buy a cherry phosphate or their specialty, the Lime Rickey.
On weekends, the tube testing machine would be used by dads or kids like me, to test the suspect tubes in the their old radios or televisions.
When it was turned on, the warm smell of burnt wires and hot Bakelite would waft out of its cabinet.
Some of the sockets were sticky, someone had spilled a fountain drink at another time.
Probably the pigs, Earl or DJ spilled a Lime Rickey on it, I thought to myself, sniffing the air for the scent of pork rinds and dirty underwear.
Because of the spilled drink, the tube-testing machine was only partially useful and undoubtedly causing something to short.
The last time I had taken a tube out of it, I had received an electric shock, even though I had pulled out the cord from the wall socket.
No more trips to Wayne’s now, I thought. Though, I would still stop by for a Lime Rickey.
I walked over to Paul and Kevin. “What’d you guys get?” I asked.
They held up their prizes.
Huh? Portable Transistor Radio?
I looked around the room. All the boys had the same thing: Portable Transistor Radios!
It was just a big giveaway. No one got any special prize for best paperboy!
Oh well, I thought philosophically, at least I won’t be getting a shock from this radio.
We walked outside to our bikes.
I noticed a shiny new oversized basket mounted on the front of Paul’s bike. “Hey, what’s that?” I asked.
“It’s a newspaperboy’s delivery basket,” answered Paul. “My mom bought it for me for my birthday. I don’t use that stupid old bag now. I just stuff the papers into the basket.”
Kevin and I jealously marveled at the basket.
Anything to be rid of the confounded newspaperboy’s delivery bag!
“How much was it? Where’d she get it?” I peppered Paul with questions.
Paul hunched his shoulders. “I don’t know. She came home with it one night and my sister and I put it on my bike.”
“Well, I guess I would get one, but I’m gonna let my brother Sean take over my route,” said Kevin.
Poor Sean, I thought, he was even smaller than Kevin.
“You think maybe she got it over at Nick’s?” I asked.
Nick’s was a popular hangout for boys our age.
It was a bike shop in one of the old decrepit buildings that sat on the State Street hill between First Street and River Lane.
Owned and operated by Nick, a perpetually squinting, short old man, the outside of the shop was generally cluttered with the bikes of his young patrons..
“It probably was Nick’s,” agreed Paul. “His place is right around the corner from my house.”
“Maybe I could stop in there after my route,” I suggested.
“I don’t know, he’s an old crab and those guys that work for him are mean,’ said Kevin.
Kevin was right.
When we visited Nick’s, we never bought anything, just looked. It was hard to tell if he was angry or crazy when he spoke to us in his hurried, fractured English style.
He reminded me of one of those leprechaun characters from a Looney Tunes cartoon that starred Porky Pig.
He even looked like one with his white, wild bushy hair and eyebrows.
The few employees that worked for him were teenagers, only a bit older than any of us.
But they did hold sway over us, making sure we knew that they were the older guys. Apparently, Nick paid them cash for helping him assemble the newly arrived Schwinn bicycles. We only knew that because we would often see those same boys at the Open Pantry on First Street buying various candies and pop.
Even though he sometimes used a few curse words and seemed to be a grouchy character, hollering at his young workers, we still frequented the shop; he had some of the latest Schwinn bikes and bicycle accessories being sold.
Maybe he had those baskets, I thought.
Although I had been there plenty of times lusting on the new bikes, I might have been too blind to notice any of the other bicycle-related items that might be offered.
I stopped by the very next day, after school; but first, hurriedly doing my route.
Walking into the shop, one of Nick’s teen workers spotted me.
“What’d ya want kid?’ he asked.
“Uh, uh, do you guys sell bike baskets?” I stammered.
“Sure we do, what’ya think we sell, Lime Rickeys, ya dope?
They’re over there,” he pointed with a quick jerk of his head to a corner of the store.
Geez, teenagers were such jerks, I thought.
And, there they were, all sizes of baskets. Even one the size of Paul’s was there!
Newspaper Delivery Basket, said the tag, twelve-fifty.
Twelve dollars and fifty cents! It might as well have been a million bucks. I don’t have twelve-fifty, I haven’t even got paid for doing the route yet.
I thought back to the different times when I had traded in pop bottle deposits at Western Liquors and then spent the money on candy or pop at the Open Pantry or at Nelson’s.
I was crestfallen, my shoulders drooped, how could I ever come up with twelve-fifty?
I began the long mopey walk out of Nick’s.
“Hey, what’d ya want?” said a loud voice in a short, clipped tone.
I turned around, it was Nick, he spoke quickly, at the same time, mis-pronouncing and jumbling the words together.
“Oh, I came in to look at the bike baskets,” I moped.
“The one I want is too much though.”
“Which one is that?” asked Nick.
“Oh, wait a minute, are you a paperboy?” he asked.
The newspaper delivery bag was still slung over my shoulder.
“Yes sir,” my manners suddenly appearing again. How does that happen? I thought to myself. They come without even thinking. Huh!
“What’s yer route number, what’s yer name? What papers are ya delivering?” he asked in rapid fire.
“Uh, John Nielsen, Route 2B.
I deliver the Chicago Daily News, the Aurora Beacon News, the Chicago American and the Elgin Courier,” I recited.
It was as if being questioned by Mr. Bye, the Fourth Street School principal.
I was getting a little bit scared. I never had really talked to any adult outside of teachers or moms and dads.
I straightened up and stood at attention like the soldiers in Combat, the television show, my Dad watched.
“How old are ya?”
“Uh ten, sir”.
“When will ya be eleven?”
This was becoming an inquisition, I thought.
“January.”
“January what,’ he demanded.
“January eighth, sir.”
Nick was assaulting me with questions!
”What school do ya go to?
What grade are ya in?”
“Fourth Street School, I’m in the fifth grade,” I breathed out the answers quickly.
“What’s yer boss’ name, John?”
“Um, Mr. Little,” I felt like I was gasping for air.
“No it’s not, its Litow, L I T O W,” corrected Nick, spelling out the name.
“Their place is on South Third Street, the News Depot, right?”
Apparently, Nick was aware of the other businesses in town.
“I think so Mister Nick. They deliver the papers to my house. I never really talked to anyone there yet.”
“My name is Nick, not Mister Nick. What’re ya, a smarty pants?” barked Nick.
“Oh, no, no sir, Mister, I mean Nick,” I corrected myself.
“How long ya had the route?
Where do ya deliver?”
Nick’s questions felt like the nipping bites my dog Sam would inflict upon me when we played.
“I got it at the beginning of the month. I deliver to houses on Richards Street and Anderson Boulevard.”
Oops! I forgot about the other streets!
“And then Union and Center, “ I added, forgetting the names of the other streets.
“So yous’re delivering them papers in the sack, are ya’s?
And youse want ta put a basket on yer bike?
Where’s yer bike?” he enquired quickly.
“Out front,” I replied. “I parked it on the sidewalk.”
“Bring it in,” he ordered.
My bike was an old Schwinn one speed with balloon tires and scratched rusted fenders.
The chain was greased as evidenced by my dirty lower right trouser leg and even the wheel hubs were well oiled. My Dad had insisted on me learning how to do some of the bicycle maintenance.
“Hmm,” said Nick, rubbing his chin.
“Yer bike looks sturdy enough and ya have the right kind of tires for the weight.“
Rubbing the chain between his dirty fingers, he asked, “Who greased the chain, yer dad?”
“Uh no, I did that,” I replied. “My dad showed me how though,” I added.
"Good job," Nick nodded approvingly.
“Well, the basket will fit yer bike. But ya need a new front tire. See here?”
Nick pointed to a crack in the front tire.
“There ain’t no way thet yer tire is gonna last much longer. And,” he continued, “with a big basket like thet on the front, the weight of the newspapers ya put in it is gonna make thet tire wear out faster. You’ve been lucky ridin’ around with thet bag slung overs yer shoulders. The weight is more evenly distributed.”
Nick sounds like a scientist! I thought. Wow!
“Okay,” said Nick. “Do ya aims to be keepin’ this route fer some time? Over the winter, ‘till school is out?”
“Well yezsir” What’s he gettin’ at? I thought, beginning to mis-pronounce words like Nick, both out loud and in my head.
“Well, John, for paperboys, I can offer a loan. You can come in here on the first Saturday after ya’ve been paid for yer route. Mr. Litow pays his boys on the first of every month, right?” he asked.
“I think so, sir,” Still not quite understanding what he was talking about.
“Okay then. Youse’r gonna need a new tire for yer front wheel plus the basket. I ain’t gonna just sell ya’s the basket widdout ya puttin’ on the new tire, cuz, ya still need the tire to be safe,” he explained.
“First, I’m gonna talk to Mr. Litow about yer route. Youse tell yer mom and pop. If they think it’s okay, then youse bring in yer bike this next Saturday, afta Thanksgivin. You kin put the new tire on the wheel and then put the basket on at the same time. Have ya ever done thet?”
I shook my head no.
“Thet’s what I thought. So, I’m gonna have Charlie here show ya how to do it. Charlie,” he barked at the teen-age boy helper.
“This is John. He’s a new customer. A payin customer. He’s a buyin a new tire and the big basket. He’s gonna bring his bike in on Saturday to have them put on. I want youse to show him how and help him put them on. No complainin either. Yer getting paid ta do what ah says.”
“Okay, Nick, “ said Charlie.
“But sir, I don’t got any money,” geez there’s the bad language again, I thought as I replied.
“I know, I know,” assured Nick. Here’s what we’s gonna do. How much are you getting paid every month?” he asked.
“ I think seven dollars is my pay,”
“Okay, then you come in every month on the Saturday morning after youse been paid and repay me three-fifty. That leaves ya half of yer route money ta put in the bank. That’s what yer gonna do with it, right?”
Nick looked at me with his squinty little eyes. They twinkled a bit and there was a grin on his face.
“Well, yes. But I might want to buy something once in awhile.” I envisioned days at the Open pantry, drinking pop and eating Kit Kats and Hershey chocolate bars.
“You make sure youse save some of thet money!” Nick ordered. “Some day youse gonna be glad ya did!”
Here’s what we’s gonna do. The basket is twelve-fifty and the tire is another dollar. Thet comes to thirteen-fifty you will owe me,” Nick scribbled furiously on a long yellow lined notepad.
“Les see, thirteen fifty divided by three-fifty gives us.”
Nick stopped suddenly.
“Come in every Saturday after getting paid for the next four months. Youse pay me three-fifty for the next three months. On the fourth month, youse gonna pay me two dollars. Yer loan will be paid in full. Okay?”
“Uh okay,” I nodded wide-eyed.
What is happening, I thought?
“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” said Nick. “Christmas is next month. Youse gonna be buyin presents fer yer mom and pop?”
Huh? I hadn’t even thought that far ahead.
“Oh, yessir, I am”.
“Okay then, youse start payin’ me in January, after Christmas is over. So you come in here on the Saturday after you get paid and pay me the three-fifty. Then you come in here in February, March and then April. Then yer loan will be paid. Okay?” Nick held out his hand to shake. “Youse come in this Saturday. Youse and Charlie will put the new tire and basket on yer bike. Okay?”
“Okay Nick,” I replied and shook his hand.
Nicked winked, “Youse be back here Saturday! And youse make sure it’s okay wid yer mom and pop,” he ordered.
Dazedly, I walked out the door with my bike. Geez! I called him Nick! I thought. He never even yelled at me!
Dutifully, I came back to Nick’s that Saturday for the tire and basket installation.
Charlie, the teen aged boy was sitting at his little bench, working on assembling a new bicycle.
Nick, meantime was talking to an adult customer.
He looked over when I walked in.
“Hiya Johnnie,” said Nick, winking his eye.
“Just take yer bike back to Charlie. He’s bin waitin’ for ya.”
Nick turned back to his customer, “Johnnie’s a new customer of mine. Comin’ in for a new basket and a tire. We got a bizness arrangement” He told the adult.
The man looked over and smiled at me.
Nick went back to explaining the virtues of a new Schwinn bike.
I went over to Charlie.
He grinned. “Okay, kid, let’s figure out what size tire you need. We’ll get that put on and then stick on that big basket.”
After all, I was a paying customer!